Shades of Blonde

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

1st Sin

"Which sin did you probably commit first? Tell about it in a story.

"The first sin I "commited" would have been a double-sin. Lying to one of my parents, probably my mother, and dishonoring her. But I really can't remember much before the age of 3.

The second sin would most likely be theft.
My brother had silver dollars hidden in the back of his closet. When he was outside playing, I would premeditatedly sneak into his room, steal the silver dollars, pocket them, and go out to play with my friends, who thought I was the richest girl in the world. We'd play barbies and tag and ride big wheels, waiting with trained ears for the melody of Good Humor truck. It could be two blocks away, but we'd stand by the curb, ready to flag it down, just in case the driver somehow didn't see us or forgot to stop.

(I just had the most wicked thought... how fun it would be to drive that truck, slowing down to the flock of kids at the curb, playing that special music, smiling and waving to their expectant little faces. Pretend to pull over.. then slam my foot down on the pedal and speed away, watching the disbelief and horror through the rear-view mirror.)

Back to the broken Commandment.. the Good Humor truck really would stop. I would permit 4 or 5 of my closest neighborhood friends to choose any one item they wanted. Of course they would pick the most expensive which was the Strawberry Shortcake or Chocolate Eclair bar for 35 cents. Myself, I would buy atleast 3 things for myself since I was the Fat Cat with all the money.

One day my brother showed up at the truck along with all us girls. He was standing behind me. I had to pay for the ice cream. I panicked. If he saw the silver dollar, he would know where it came from. I looked back from my friends to him. Should I risk being ostracized or have my ass beat? I decided the ass-beating just wasn't worth it. I pretended I had forgotten my money. Everyone was disgusted, including the Good Humor man... except for my brother.

He was puzzled. How and why in the world would I even think I could pay for everyone's treats?
Suddenly, a knowing look spread across his face. He dashed back to our house as fast as he could for proof of his missing treasure.

I hopped on a big wheel (not mine, of course, a stolen one) and pedaled it as fast as I could for three blocks and hid in a different friend's backyard. This friend was oblivious to my petty theft record. I told her my brother was looking for me and I was dead meat if he found me. We stashed the hot big wheel behind her garage and played on her swings. I soon became carefree and forgot the mess I left 3 blocks away. I was bold enough to run around in her driveway, just when I caught a glimpse of my mother's red volkswagon creep by. Inside were two angry faces staring back at me. The jig was up. I went home and got two ass-beatings for the price of one and was branded a thief.. by my family for the silver dollars.. by my friends for the big wheel.

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