Shades of Blonde

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Extra Baggage

GrandDaddy peeked his head out from the top of the worn painting. He had been sleeping there when the large, balding business man had entered their motel room. GrandDaddy had to be careful he did not give himself away and allow the man to catch sight of his very long antennae.

He remembered a year ago, in Berlin, his hometown, the death of his eldest son, Cocky. The innkeeper had spotted Cocky's feelers poking out from under a towel on the bathroom floor. He stomped poor Cocky to death right in front of his entire family. They were all hidden, but still witnessed the ghastly scene, as Cocky screeched in agonizing pain, his guts oozing from his virile young exoskeleton.

GrandDaddy fought back a tear, and told himself this was no time for weeping, he had to lead his family to safety. They were bringing in an exterminator tomorrow morning. It was just by luck this room was being occupied tonight, buying their ticket to freedom.

The big man slung his suitcase and briefcase on top of the dresser, and plopped down on the mattress, reaching for the remote control. GrandDaddy hated it when they watched television. He did not approve of his grandchildren watching all that filth humans found so entertaining. And the television kept the people from going to sleep sooner. The light from the television made it easier to be spotted, an extreme vulnerability. But atleast this man was alone, so far, and they might not have to witness the dispicable sexual perversions so many occupants participated in at this seedy motel.

GrandDaddy signaled over to his kid brother, Gregor, dipping his left antenna. That meant it was going down tonight... get everyone ready in a calm and orderly fashion. Gregor nodded and disappeared back under the dresser. He would have to fetch his wife, Rye, who was hiding in the shower drain with her newly laid case containing 12 precious tiny eggs. GrandDaddy knew his own days were numbered. He was almost two now, his feelers whitening significantly, and had to ensure his family carried on.

The man yawned deeply and loosened his tie. He rose from the bed and walked to the sink and reached for a cup. Just as he turned on the faucet, GrandDaddy spotted Sis scurrying from the drain. Sis, noooooo! It was too late. The fat man had large hands and splatted her like the bug she was. He wiped her remains from the counter with a tissue and threw it in the trash without a care. GrandDaddy shook with rage as he witnessed the desecration of his only living sister. He had watched out for Sis all her life. But she had started slowing down in the last couple months, and it was inevitable she would die at the hands of an insensitive human one day. GrandDaddy vowed under his breath to the obese man, "I shall INFEST your home by the THOUSANDS!"

The man rummaged through his suitcase, pulling out an ugly set of green and brown striped pajamas. He zipped his suitcase back up, but left the tiniest crack open between the zippers, allowing enough room for GrandDaddy's family to slip inside. The man began undressing and farted heavily as he bent over finish pulling his trousers off. GrandDaddy wrinkled his nose in disgust as the abominable odor of dead rotten ducks wafted toward him. This guy was really a pig, but the fact that he was so big meant that there would be plenty of food available in their new home.

After what seemed like an eternity, the man had finally gotten back in bed, and fallen asleep, snoring loudly. GrandDaddy stealthily crept out from his hiding place, down the wall, and on top of the suitcase. He motioned to his family, already in position under the dresser, that the coast was clear.

Rye was first, gently, but firmly clamping her delicate egg case between her teeth. GrandDaddy directed her to the opening of the luggage. She slipped inside and burrowed in a dirty pair of underwear that the man would be sure not to look through in the morning. Chito, Poppy, Zilla, and Crispy followed next, with Gregor taking up the rear. GrandDaddy waited until everyone was snuggled safely inside their hiding places and squeezed in himself. He chose a side pocket, and to his delight, found a baggy filled with homemade peanut butter cookies to snack on. GrandDaddy ate heartily, storing energy for the long trip ahead.


At 7:26 PM, Blogger rachel said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog. I loved the story of roaches. We don't get them here in UK but loads when I lived in Australia.

I will be back to read more

At 8:11 AM, Blogger Pacian said...

Psst. Don't tell anyone, but this is my favourite of all the submissions. :-)

I love the way you make the cockroaches as disgusted by the humans as we are by them. Brilliant!

At 8:43 AM, Blogger DuhhhBlond said...

I could not be any more flattered than I am right now... :)

At 8:39 PM, Blogger Ang said...

This was great. I was actually rooting for the roaches and I must say that is most definitely a first!!

At 11:44 PM, Blogger sundaycynce said...

As a nearly lifelong Floridian, I have too many bad experiences with roaches to be truly sympathetic, so I was pleased that the man was also not a sympathetic character--they deserved each other.
Very interesting twist of viewpoint. Enjoyed your writing.

Thanks for reading and commenting on my post. All input is appreciated. SC

At 1:25 AM, Blogger Yak Attacker said...

Very original and creative. You were able to make even a cockroach sound interesting!

At 4:16 PM, Blogger Kay said...

You really have to love a cockroach named "Gregor". Nicely done.

At 4:40 PM, Blogger DuhhhBlond said...

thanks everyone for all the flattering comments..
I really really appreciate them..
I also appreciate any suggestions, input, gentle criticism, etc. on ANYTHING I attempt to write..

anyways, I love my little cockroach family so much.. I am going to continue on with them.. I don't care how silly it is.. I can't help it!

At 2:30 PM, Blogger rachel said...

are you still alive??????

At 6:22 AM, Blogger Pacian said...

I've been wondering the same thing. I hope everything is going great, Oh Blonde One.

At 6:43 PM, Blogger Dupa Jasia said...

The first duty of a mother is to her children, metoclopramide repeated Mrs.. Here again the Class failed. prozac. In the dream of a healthy person the only way for me to enable him to accept this repressed idea is the celebrex coherence of the dream thoughts...


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